Big Sad John

(Sing to the tune of Jimmy Dean's "Big Bad John")

Every mornin' on the Hill you could see him arrive
He stood six-foot-four, and weighed one-twenty-five
Kinda' scrawny at the shoulders and lacking a spine
And when he spoke at all, it was mainly to whine.
(Big John, Big John) Big Sad John.

Nobody really knows what's in John's soul
His "beliefs" are all based on the latest poll
Though he'll say what it takes to get your votes
It's the leftist agenda that he really promotes
Big John.

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Thousands have sacrificed their young lives
To help ensure that our nation survives
A vote for Kerry is a slap in the face
To all the brave soldiers that he's disgraced
(Big John, Big John) Big Sad John